Gone With the Wind, Margaret Mitchell’s epic of the Old South, is one of the best selling books of all time. When made into a film in 1939, it became an international phenomenon that has intrigued the public like no other. To this day, Gone With the Wind is still the most succesful movie ever made.

Ripe with complex characters, wonderful performances, and non-stop action, the film thrills in every way possible. In the midst of this sprawling epic are three couples with varying dynamics in their marital relationships. I would like to focus on these in particular: Gerald and Ellen O’Hara, Scarlett’s parents; Ashley and Melanie Wilkes; and of course, Rhett and Scarlett.

Gerald & Ellen O’Hara

Image: Pinterest

Gerald (Thomas Mitchell) and Ellen O’Hara (Barbara O’Neill) are the owners of the Tara plantation. Their pride and joy is wrapped up in every fiber of the land.


Ellen devotes herself to being the mistress of Tara and is a very capable one. A responsive mother to the emotional needs of her daughters, and a midwife to the women in town, she is highly respected in their community.

The relationship between Gerald and Ellen is platonic and respectful. Coming from the book, theirs was an arranged marriage and while Gerald was wild about Ellen, she did not feel the same about him. Ellen was in love with another man whom she could not marry due to her family’s disapproval. Gerald was always of the opinion that his wife was as happy as he was in their marriage, and I’m sure it would have broken his heart if he knew the truth.

When Ellen passes on, Gerald cannot function without her and sadly, loses his mind. His strength seemed to come from Ellen even before she passed, but it was most definitely buried with her when she died.

Ashley & Melanie Wilkes


Our next couple, Ashley (Leslie Howard) and Melanie Wilkes (Olivia de Havilland), are second cousins. In the film Ashley says, “She [Melanie] is part of my blood and we understand each other.” That pretty much summarizes their relationship – it is built upon understanding and familiarity. In the book, Ashley and Melanie share the same interests: reading, culture, and the arts. While this is not spoken of in the film, it is clear that they are cut from the same cloth. They both are peace loving people with not an aggressive bone in their bodies.


Although Ashley strings Scarlett along with hopes of romance, his heart belongs to Melanie. While he is drawn to Scarlett’s fire and passionate nature, he knows that a relationship between them would not be a successful one. Melanie is much better suited to him. She understands his nature and idolizes him, while he leans on and admires her quiet, gentle strength.

When Melanie passes, Ashley takes on a similar behavior that Gerald exhibited at Ellen’s passing. He then confesses to Scarlett that he cannot live without Melanie. “She’s the only dream I’ve had that didn’t die in the face of reality.” Like Gerald, Ashley’s strength comes from his wife, and it is at that moment Scarlett realizes how her affections have been misplaced for so long.

Rhett & Scarlett


It is love at first sight when Rhett (Clark Gable) first lays eyes on Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh). He’s drawn to her beauty, her strength, and to the fact that she is just like him. Rhett admits to Scarlett that they are alike and meant to be together.”Bad lots – both of us. We are able to look things in the eye and call them by their real names.”

Scarlett has a disrespect for Rhett in the sense that he is not a genteel Southern gentleman whom she was raised to admire. He is a self made man who takes advantage of the war by making his own fortune off of it. He has no nostalgia for the Old South nor respects its ways. Rhett is a man of action, ready for whatever life throws at him. He is not the type of man Scarlett has been dreaming of marrying since she was a little girl. That place belongs to someone like Ashley.

Rhett proves himself a capable and trustworthy man despite his scandalous reputation. Although Scarlett doesn’t admit to loving him until the end of the movie, she does come to lean on him in times of need. That’s not something she could say for many of the other men in her life.

Image: Pinterest

You could say Scarlett uses marriage as a tool – sometimes as a weapon, other times as a shield. When she marries her first husband, it is out of spite to hurt Ashley. Not only that, she strategically marries into Ashley’s family, forever being tied to him. When she marries her second husband, it is to save Tara from being taken away from her. When she marries Rhett, it is for the security of never being poor. Unlike most women, Scarlett does not marry for love.

Rhett and Scarlett’s marriage is volatile, tempestuous, and passionate. The times we see them happy together are few, and the tension between them mounts as the film goes on.

Rhett seethes with jealousy as he observes Scarlett in her constant pursuit of Ashley and is deeply hurt by Scarlett’s rejection of him, while Scarlett believes that Rhett is in love with Belle, not with her at all.

Image: Pinterest

Their marriage is characterized by misunderstanding fostered by miscommunication. Neither of them can admit their true feelings to each other. The few times one of them comes close to having a transparent conversation, the other throws a jab and then they’re back to square one – arguing and bickering without coming to a resolution.

Rhett and Scarlett were both strong willed individuals and meant for each other, but Scarlett failed to see the cold, hard facts until it was too late.

Rhett and Scarlett rank right up there with literature and lore’s most famous lovers: Antony and Cleopatra; and Lancelot and Guinevere. However, unlike the aforementioned couples, Rhett and Scarlett did make it to the marriage altar – for better or worse.

This post is my contribution to The Wedding Bells Blogathon hosted by Annette of Hometowns to Hollywood. Click here to read the rest of the blissful entries.

Thanks for reading and for visiting The Classic Movie Muse!

13 thoughts on “Love & War: Marriage in Gone With the Wind (1939)

  1. Nice choice of topics for a blog post! GWTW is my favorite classic film, and among my all-time favorite movies, so it’s always a delight to read something about it!

    It’s been so long since I read the book, I hadn’t remembered that about Gerald and Ellen, but it’s true that some people are so entirely emotionally wrapped up in the other person, they cannot remain sane without them. (I know of one older couple who was like this; after her death, he quickly went downhill.)

    I’ve always had a problem with Ashley – on the one hand, I admire his strength and moral fortitude in repeatedly rejecting Scarlett’s very obvious, seductive advances, but as Rhett says, he’s committing adultery with her “in his head, just not technically.” And that is very true. In a sense, Melanie is much too “good” for him. Ashley is strong only as long as Melanie is alive – without her, he falls apart.

    Despite his reputation as a rake, Rhett has always been one of my favorite characters – and the true tragedy of this story is that Scarlett is too blinded by her obsession with an ideal (Ashley… and she does not even love him or see him realistically; she loves the idea of him she has in her head, and once she can have him, is repulsed by his actual self) to recognize the love Rhett has to offer her. If she would just settle down and see what she has, then she would know she had a good thing going with Rhett – prosperous, intelligent, charming, and fun. Silly girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for checking out my post, Charity! These characters are endlessly fascinating. Margaret Mitchell was an absolute genius in her creation of them. Yes, I think Ashley’s biggest error was he never told Scarlett to leave him alone. Like Rhett says “he [Ashley] can’t be mentally faithful to his wife but won’t be unfaithful to her technically. Why doesn’t he make up his mind?” He obviously had some soul searching to do there, but I think that kept Scarlett hanging on for longer than she might have if Ashley had cut ties with her.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, if he would have had the courage to tell her in the first place that he genuinely was soppy over Melanie, she might have recognized his true self sooner and not idolized him as much. :/

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m looking for participants for the 2020 Olivia de Havilland Blogathon, taking place over her birthday on July 1 & 2nd. Short notice, I know, but I was waiting for someone else to host it. LOL I would love to have you contribute, if you’d be interested — you can find the details and sign-up at

        Thanks for considering it! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A terrific overview of three marriages in this film. Like a previous commenter said, it’s a shame Scarlett – being the pragmatist she was – couldn’t see through Ashley and realize what she had in Rhett. Still, we all have our blind spots…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a wonderful tribute to those memorable marriages. Poor Scarlett and Rhett – if only there had been marriage counseling in those days… maybe they would have made it. But, since tomorrow is another day, maybe they did! I hope so.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s